The Great Replacement might just be a little more fun than you’re expecting.
If you’ve been perusing the X page of African financier Elon Musk or are familiar with the works of French polymath Renaud Camus, you may be familiar with the concept of “White Genocide”. Whether it’s about dwindling fertility rates, mass immigration, or gender-affirming healthcare for illegal aliens, the average netizen is bound to have liked and reposted hundreds of articles purporting a Great Replacement for the white race. But it’s so much more than the ketamine-addled scrawlings of a roided billionaire or the academic musings of a stuffy pederast. Behind the antisemitic conspiracies and community notes, white genocide represents an exciting opportunity for a new way of life—for whites and people of color alike.
Cultural Marxists, dialectical materialists, and economic scientists have been paving the way for what the Final Solution of the Great Replacement can look like. Studies have shown that white genocide will be the first bloodless revolution, the first violence-free ethnic cleansing, and the first fun-filled genocide appropriate for the entire family—even Grandma! For white genocide to be carried out to full effect, you won’t even have to step out your front door. Simply let the open borders, abortion clinics, boring Evangelical church services, and Bolshevik twitter warriors work their magic on the white population. No one has to die (Krishna forbid!), no one has to leave (except landlords), and no one will have to be forced into mixed-race relationships. White genocide is already here, and it looks like your new friendly neighbor fresh off the plane from Zambia.
Some white Americans—and not just the sweaty, trailer park fentanyl-snorting kind—might feel apprehension towards this lack of cultural assimilation. They might feel that more multiculturalism means less Christian or Anglo-Saxon hegemony. If you or any of your loved ones are struggling with these anxious thoughts regarding white extinction, just know that you are not alone and there is hope. “White Extinction Illness and Northern European Retardation” (WEINER) is now an official DSM-5-TR mental disorder and it has a cure—logging off and going outside! While castration is recommended in extreme cases, simply exposing oneself to urban, diverse areas is a tried-and-true method for combating WEINER. You may see a kufi here, a yarmulke there, or maybe even a hijab, but exposure to these non-European cultural norms on a regular basis curbs the worst of the symptoms. Doctors are developing an accelerated program to combat the late stages of WEINER, and early trials contain behaviours like learning Mandarin, increasing spice tolerance, and taking practical courses on Haitian Vodou. It’s 100% re-educational fun, no labor camps necessary.
Ultimately, white genocide promises a world free from bland food, cultural deterioration, poor election outcomes, Taylor Swift, and obese Republicans. But even if you’re white as a sheet of paper covered in semen, you are still welcome to soak in the exotic sights, sounds, and smells of the Global South without leaving your own ZIP code. A simple walk through the neighborhood will be transformed into an education of our species’ rich histories and traditions. There may be one or two less white people in your periphery, but when whatever’s wafting from that halal truck smells that good, who’s counting?